пятница, 27 января 2017 г.

Jealousy and suspicion - love back?

Jealousy can be like a little devil gnawing and fills you with painful feelings. It may be because you have been abandoned or that you are afraid that you may be.

By Hege, youth journalist ung.no

But jealousy can emerge even though common sense tells you that there is no reason for it too. All people experience the feeling one or more times. And part knows about it often.


Some jealousy can only be healthy. That means probably just that you are in love and hate the idea of ​​losing your boyfriend to someone else. But the uncertainty gnaws and gnaws really about confidence. You must believe that you are equal girlfriend and daring to trust that you are a person who deserves to be loved.

It is also about trusting others. When we are in love, we are low-skin and vulnerable. Therefore, confidence in ourselves and others put to the test. If you do not trust your girlfriend, it's easy to be suspicious and thus have a need to look for 'evidence' that his girlfriend actually loves you and wants to be with you. There are probably very tiring for both yourself and your boyfriend eventually, and will probably lead to one of you can not go on.

Read also: Distance Condition
It is allowed to talk about it
You may want to talk to your girlfriend and tell how you feel. Probably brands he or she you are unsure anyway.

There is of course a chance that your suspicion is correct, and that your girlfriend has fallen in love with someone else, or have lost feelings for you, which can be very painful to hear. There will probably still be better for both of you to get talked about this so that you can work you through this or end the relationship. The truth is, after all, mostly never better than uncertainty.

If your girlfriend however assure you that everything is in perfect order with the two of you, then you should try really hard to trust this. Your boyfriend gets done nothing more than to tell you this, and you can not do anything more than to trust him / her. Confidence is vital for a relationship to work, and none of you will persevere in length if you are unable to rely on each other.

Also read: Having sweetheart
No insurance
Imagine how good it would have been if her boyfriend could signed an eternal pledge allegiance so you never needed to be unsure if he or she would be with you more.

In love, there are however no representation or eternity promises. You can only be as brave as you dare, and feel the feelings and accept love despite the fact that you sometimes can feel pangs of jealousy. Your boyfriend has most likely not been in love with you just for a specific reason, and there will therefore be no point in comparing himself with girls or guys that you think is prettier, thinner, have larger muscles or whatever than you self. Your boyfriend loves you for many reasons - because you're just you - and it's more than good enough.

Also read: To not have a boyfriend
Separation, ung.no

Typical jealousy situations?
At the beginning of the relationship
Especially at the beginning of a relationship can be easy to feel at being jealous. Maybe you can talk about what you put in to be girlfriends and where their borders go? How are you less uncertain and could get even better together.

age differences
girl crying Age difference can mean little in adolescence. Do you have a boyfriend who is old enough to go out on the town, while you are not there, it has a tendency to occur with difficult situations. It's easy to fantasize about what it's like out there, whom his girlfriend talking to who he / she dances with etc.
Out with the boys or traveling with the girls
Other times it might of friends, whether boys or girls, to be collected. Maybe one in a cabin or at a festival or on holiday in the sun for several days. For those who are left at home, it can probably be hard not to be a little jealous. Try, however, to turn the situation on its head. If it was you who was on the trip with good friends, you had been keen to have fun with them. So it is most likely for your girlfriend too. It is, after all, very important to take care of your friends, even if you have been romantically.

Boyfriend did not call as agreed
If your boyfriend does not call or come when he or she says it, try one often find answers to why. Remember, however, that the imagination is often far worse than the reality, and that it most likely has a natural explanation.

Separation, ung.no

What can you do?
It is not easy or good to be jealous - either you or your girlfriend, but there are some things you can do to try to overcome jealousy.

Talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. If your girlfriend assure you that you have no reason to be jealous, you must try everything you can rely on it. Your boyfriend does not get done otherwise than to say to you that you have no reason to be jealous, and if you continue to push for it in perpetuity, so it eventually just exhausting for both of you. Try to remember that this is about you and your uncertainty - and work with it and not let it "go beyond" your girlfriend any more than necessary.
Tell yourself that you are fine and that your boyfriend has CHOSEN to be with you. Do you remember who you were when you first started to flirt? It's the person your boyfriend fell in love, try to preserve those feelings.
Tell yourself that your boyfriend is lucky to be with you. You are equal in the relationship, not transcendental girlfriend to someone who is much better than yourself.
Imagine that you have together is fine.
Imagine that your imagination plays you a trick.
Read a love letter or a cozy message you received from your boyfriend.
Call a friend or girlfriend to talk about it, you are guaranteed several who have felt the jealousy. Make also like something active, it is when one sits alone with thoughts that jealousy can take over.
Focus on yourself, your friends, your family, your interests and your life. Many tend to be very concerned about her boyfriend's life and the girlfriend have the right feelings etc. Instead, try to focus on taking care of your friends and leisure interests, and you will see that the relationship benefiting from it.
It is allowed to apologize if you have behaved unfairly towards your boyfriend and it is also allowed to talk together about difficult situations. Try, however, to focus on YOU think this is difficult, and not what he / she may do wrong.
Separation, ung.no

How to avoid that girlfriend gets jealous?
Try to put yourself in the situation of others and behave the way you want your girlfriend to behave with others.
How would you even girlfriend should mention other guys or girls? For example, it is not very pleasant to hear lots of positive about a girlfriend have talked to out there, how nice body he / she has, how great his hair / her and how much you laughed at the jokes of his / her. Do not talk about others as if they are better than your girlfriend.
Meet each other's friends, as you also know who you spend time with when you're not together.
Separation, ung.no

How much jealousy should endure from girlfriend?
Do not like your girlfriend that you're talking with someone of the opposite sex?
Do not like your girlfriend you are with others?
Are your girlfriend decide what clothes to go in?
All these points are warning signs you should be aware. Although it is quite natural to feel jealous now and then, it is not good for you or your girlfriend that it goes too far. Do you feel that your girlfriend is jealous in a way that makes you feel trapped or that you can not say or do what's natural for you, you must tell that you can not have it that way. Boyfriends should thrive together, and one should not feel gagged or trapped in a relationship.

Chat with friends, family, school nurse or the like, if you feel that your boyfriend restrict you in any way!

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