четверг, 26 января 2017 г.

Can you decide for yourself whether you can have a boyfriend or get married?

- If you have a boyfriend?

- When you're getting married?

- Whom to marry?



Read about Sara (18) and Tariq (19), who did not want to follow the family's advice about choosing a spouse. Get tips on how you can get help and advice.

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Sara, 18 år Sara
Sara

Sara, 18 years
Sara has a boyfriend as she is very fond of. She has not told this to the parents, because she knows that they do not allow that she has a boyfriend. Her mother has in several years talked about that Sara is marrying a relative in their parents' homeland. It's almost summer, and the whole family should be there on vacation. Sara wants to meet his grandparents and his relatives. At the same time she wanted to work and earn money for the holidays, but the mother says that she must be part of the planned journey.

What plans does the parents of Sara?
Sara is concerned. What plans does the parents? Have they found out that she has a boyfriend? Have they thought that she is getting married now? She thinks it's difficult to ask them directly. Sara thinks a lot and struggling to concentrate on schoolwork. She sleeps badly and is often sad. She thinks that she does not want to marry the boy parents have chosen. She knows him so well, and it is she who will live with him! Then she thought of how happy she is in her parents, and all the good they have done for her.

Read also: Threatened or forced to marry you? Seek help now
She would not want them to be bored or have problems with family and genus. Sara also think of her friend who has very strict at home, and who was beaten by her father when she refused to marry the boy parents had chosen for her.

See film about forced marriage


Should she seek help?
Sarah has lots of questions: Is it safe for her to go on vacation if she will not marry? What if she talks to parents and tells how she feels? Should she dare to speak to someone else?

Further down in the article you will find information about places she can seek for help and advice.

Tariq, 19 år Tariq
Also read: Can you say no to an arranged marriage?
Tariq

Tariq, 19 years
Tariq wonder if he is gay. Will the family accept that he will not marry a girl?

Tariq is 19 years old and works in a kiosk by skoltid. In kiosk often comes a boy he likes to chat with. Sometimes they take a coffee together after work. In recent years, Tariq thought a lot about that he is not interested in girls in the same way as their peers. But what does it mean that he likes this boy very well? What will happen if he becomes the girlfriend of a boy?

If he does not want to marry a girl? What will the parents say? The family?

Relatives in your home country? Can he continue to stay at home? Will parents still have contact with him? Can he do without his family? Will someone try to hurt him? Is there someone he can talk to?

Tariq feel confused and have many questions. What should he do?

At the bottom of the article you will find information on places where he can get help and advice.

Also read: Will you go abroad and are afraid of being forced into marriage?
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A marriage contracted abroad is not valid in Norway if:
One of the parties is under 18 when they marry
Marriage is entered into without both parties were present during the ceremony
One of the parties is already married.
These rules apply if at least one of the parties is resident in Norway when a marriage takes place. A marriage entered into by means of pressure / coercion may be annulled in Norway.

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It IS possible to get help
Going abroad and are afraid of being forced into marriage?

If you are afraid of getting married against your will, it could be a big risk to leave Norway. It can be difficult to help you abroad. It is therefore important that you seek help before you go.

Also read: Is it your responsibility to protect the family's honor?
WHERE can you get help?
Ask questions anonymously on ung.no

On ung.no/oss can ask questions anonymously and get help and advice.

Red Cross helpline on forced marriage and female genital mutilation
The Red Cross hotline is an information telephone for the country, where you can get advice by someone with knowledge of the issue and help to get in touch with the public support.

Tel: 815 55 201 (Mon - Fri, 9:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.)

email: info.tvangsekteskap@redcross.no

Nurse / advisor / counselor

At secondary schools there are school health, social teacher and counselor who you can talk to. They can also help you get in touch with other support agencies. You can also contact a youth health.

Minority counselors at selected schools

Some schools have minority counselors specifically to help immigrant students. Minority counselors are particularly concerned students who are under pressure to marry and students who are about to leave school without passing or complete. Minority counselors can either help yourself or get help from others. Read more about minority counselors .

Child welfare

If you are under 18, please contact the child welfare system. CPS provides help for children who have difficulties at home, see www.barnevernet.no .

Each municipality has a child care. Your school nurse can help you get in touch with CPS. You can also find information on the municipality's website or by calling your community.

Crisis Centre

All municipalities should have a shelter services for women and men over 18 years.

You can contact your municipality or the nearest shelter. The shelters are open all day and offers an calls, accommodation, protection and monitoring for a period.

Barnevernvakten

If you are under 18, please contact your child watch. Barnevernvakten open when other offices are closed. You can contact us if you have problems that you need help quickly. Call 116 111 and be transferred to your municipality's child welfare guard. If there is no child guard in your area or this is closed, the phone transferred to The hotline. For more information and a list of where you can find the nearest child guard watch: www.barnevernvakt.no

The hotline for children and adolescents

The hotline is a free emergency open when CPS is closed from 15:00 to 8:00 and all day on weekends. Tel. 116 111 (from abroad 00 47 95 41 17 55), SMS 41 71 61 11, email: alarm@116111.no

police

If you are afraid for your safety or wish to report any pressure, coercion or violence, please contact the police. You can get help to get a secret address, security alarm and other security measures, even without reviewing the circumstances. Tel: 02800. Police emergency number is 112.

Lawyer

If you are exposed to pressures and constraints dealing with marriage, you are entitled to free legal assistance from an attorney, even if you do not want to report the crime. You can get information

and safety measures. If you wish to report the crime to the police, you can get help from counsel, without having to pay for it.

family counseling

Youth in conflict with their family can contact the family counseling. If you wish, you can get help to talk to your parents, but you can also come alone and discuss your problem. On the website www.bufetat.no you can find the nearest office.

Expert team against forced marriage and female genital mutilation

Expert Team provides advice and guidance to help aid in cases of forced marriage, genital mutilation and other forms of honor-related violence. The Expert Team also assists individuals who contact and helps them in touch with support agencies.

Tel. 478 09 050, (9-16 Monday to Friday), email: kompetanseteamet@bufdir.no

Housing and support offerings

There are living and support programs for young people under and over 18 years subjected to forced marriage or honor crimes. The offer is for youth who have been threatened or are in serious conflict with the family and who need protected accommodation with follow-up in a period. If you are under 18, please contact the child welfare system. If you are over 18, you can contact the competence team combating forced marriage and female genital mutilation, all weekdays between 9:00 and 16:00, tel: 47 80 90 50, email: kompetanseteamet@bufdir.no Are you over 18 years and in an acute emergency, contact your nearest shelter.

Reception center staff

Whether you are staying at the asylum, you can talk to the staff at the reception. They can advise you and help you get in touch with support agencies.

Queer World (If you are gay)

Queer World is a national organization for lesbians, gays, bilfile, trans and queer people (LHBTQ) with a minority background. Queer world strive to provide a community where we can share experiences, challenges and where you have the opportunity to be themselves fully.

Email: info@skeivverden.no, website: www.skeivverden.no

SEIF - Aid to Immigrants and Refugees

SEIF provides information and advice to immigrants and refugees. They can help you get in touch with the public support. Tel: March 22, 48 30, email: seif@seif.no, website: www.seif.no

Help Abroad
If you are abroad, you can seek help at a Norwegian foreign service mission. On www.norway.info you can find the address, phone number and email address to the nearest embassy or consulate.

You may contact any embassy abroad via tel: + 47 23 95 13 00. They put you in touch with the nearest embassy.

If you are afraid of getting married against your will during holidays abroad, you should try to avoid traveling. It may be difficult for Norwegian authorities to help you. It is especially difficult to help you if you are under 18 and are abroad, then it is your parents who have responsibility for those children. If you are under 18 and are afraid in connection with an upcoming trip abroad, you should contact the Child Welfare Service, or ask another adult help you in contact with child welfare.

However, if you travel:

talk with a counselor, nurse or another you trust before you go
give someone you trust the name, address and telephone number where you're going
give someone you trust a copy of your passport and a written agreement that they should tell the police and that you would help if you did not come back to Norway on time
bring some extra cash and a copy of your passport
take your address and phone number to the nearest embassy or consulate
Source and text: Children, Youth and Family Affairs .

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