четверг, 26 января 2017 г.

My best friend has been paralyzed arm and I'm so sorry.

My friend is having a hard - how can I help?

my best veninne and cousin have been lame in one arm. I'm so u6rolig ei me and thinks about her all tien. I can not find peace and every time I'm alone I start to cry. Mom knows I'm sorry, but I will not talk to her that much. my cousin deserve just something so much better than adding the whole life.



Hi
I understand that you are very sorry that this has happened to your friend. You show great care for her and that you are very fond of her and she is very lucky to have you as the best friend and cousin.

Becoming paralyzed arm means you have to change the routines of everyday life, which can be challenging, but it is also much she can do.

As her best friend is the best thing you can do is listen to her when she wants to talk about his arm and be with her and do things you like and think are fun.

I think it will be fine for you to talk to someone about how you feel right now. You write that your mother know that you're sorry, but you will not talk much with her. I think it might be well for you to talk to mom about this and tell her that you have it hard now. Parents might be better to talk to than you think, and is often a good support.
Is there anyone else you can think to talk to? Another in family, a friend or your school nurse?

It often helps to share painful thoughts and feelings with others.


Do you see that one of your friends have it hard? Have a friend confided in you about something that makes you worried? How can you help.

Public and quality assured
Be aware when your friends change
It may be that a friend or girlfriend starts to behave differently than he / she tends. Maybe your friend will not be part of the same things as before, or suddenly becomes less interested to attend school? Maybe your friend experienced something difficult, dramatic or sad and they can not say anything about it, but becomes more quiet, angrier, sadder and more impatient? Or maybe your friend confides to you telling you that you must not tell anyone.

Bother
If you see that someone has it hard, you can be of help only by worry. For example, ask how he or she has it, and find out if there is anything you can do for them. If your friend is not ready to share their problems with you yet, it may nevertheless be good to know that you are there for them if needed.

Common but painful feelings
Many know occasionally on emotions like heartache, loneliness, inadequacy, sadness and lack of confidence or self-esteem. Some might ponder the meaning of life and other little big and philosophical questions. It is normal emotions fluctuate and change - and it is quite natural that feelings can be very strong sometimes, and then changed pretty quickly.

Will you help a friend who has eating problems?
When it does not exceed
Do you have a friend who's been sad because of heartbreak for months and unable to function normally again, it might be a good idea to talk to someone who knows what it takes to get ahead. Prat also with some adults about other concerns you have or have had a friend over time. Maybe you see that your friend does not feel good at home, maybe he or she is sadder than usual, or maybe you suspect that your friend has eating problems, drug users or have had a bad experience? Or struggling your friend with a physical or mental illness that makes life more difficult? Do not go with concern or thoughts about this alone if the problems do not go over. You can talk to an adult you trust. You can also encourage your friend to seek help, or offer to join the one that your friend can talk to. It can be a parent, a teacher, school counselor, school nurse or an adult on youth health. You can also ask questions to professionals on www.klara-klok.no or our trivia page on ung.no: ung.no/oss . You can also call mental health support or contact Cross my heart.

Also read: How can you support a friend in grief?
Even if your friend has confided in you and asked you not to say anything further, you could seek help from someone by asking for advice while holding their name anonymously. Nurse has confidentiality.

What else can you do?
There is not anyone see that they may need help to get through the problems, or have acknowledged that they have a problem. Therefore it is important that you as a friend care. You might ask: "How are you really?" or "How are you?" Describe what you see or think. For example, say that you are worried because your friend is not going to school, eat little or little to say. Try saying what you see does not interpret too much. It is better to say: I get a little concerned when I see that you do not eat lunch and can not bear so much in the gym, except to say that you think that your friend has an eating disorder. It is also better to say that you think about your friend when he is not in school, except to say that his friend has school refusal. You can also, for example, say, "Maybe you can talk to the school nurse or someone else? I may well stay with you."

Love Sorrow
Negative thoughts and difficult emotions
Anyone can have it difficult with thoughts and feelings at times. Sometimes it feels especially bad, and some do not these feelings and thoughts of themselves. About one in five young people feel that there is some extra laborious. Goods that over time, it may be a mental illness during development, and it is important to get help from professionals.

You must be a friend, not a therapist
Many young people take very much responsible for friends who are having difficulties. It's good to care, but if you are entrusted with serious problems, it is important that you talk to an adult you trust. You can not be the one who alone should bear his friend's burden. You can support and listen, not process. The most important thing a friend with problems require is that you are predictable as a friend. That you keep appointments, that you are, as before, you can find the usual stuff together and be together without problems get too much attention. Set limits on what is okay and not okay for you to hear about or get drawn into. That you contact still, EVEN IF friend is not quite as before, is important. Be patient and try to withstand that friend has a bit difficult. Nobody can take away the difficult for people. It must often treatment and the friend must work on the problems with professional support along the way. Continue to be the friend you were before, it's the best you can do.

Depression
Dare to ask!
Many are reluctant to ask because they are afraid of making things worse. It is much better to ask than to pretend nothing.

Some think it may be difficult to talk about emotional things, but remember that it is often the easy way out which is the best, "Are you sad?", "How are you after the divorce?", "Do you think a lot of her mother your dead? " This may be straightforward questions that make it easier to take up emotional themes.

Perhaps you could also say, "I want you to know that I like to listen to you if you want to talk."

Often it to do something else be good for people who have it a bit difficult. Suggest why to do something nice with your friend and say happily: "We may well go for a walk tonight" or "Are you coming to play football" or "Shall we watch a movie?". Also, talk about ordinary things like school, friends, leisure, music and so on.

Think about what you would have liked
Think about how you felt when you were properly depressed recently. Know the feeling. What did you want those around you to do then? Also remember that people rarely need advice in such situations. If you want advice, ask you about it below. The most need is that you listen, that you ask and show that you are trying to understand. It is so easy to share their experiences with something similar, or giving advice quickly. Try to avoid it if not the friend requested it.

Comments:
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